she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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