it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
