watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize