he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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