u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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