Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think i have herpe
just one?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
