My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
