wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
