once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
