i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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