just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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