it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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