How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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