I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize