so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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