i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
