just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
