And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
