There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize