uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
