He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
