I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
