What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
