I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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