You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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