Pappa wants mamma naked
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
