omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
