Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
