At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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