Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
