My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
