yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize