Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
