Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
