Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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