I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
