Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
