Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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