i already hear my dad disowning me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
