This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
