hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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