I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
