you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
