if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Help. Why am I so naked?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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