He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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