I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
