Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
