Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
