If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
