There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
