Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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