i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
