Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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