yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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