I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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