I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
