He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
