FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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