and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
