The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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