Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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