you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
