Me. At least after what I've been through.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
