apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
