She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
not ubering you a puppy
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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