quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize