His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
There's even glitter on my cock...
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