i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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