Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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