I just pynch a tree in the face
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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