you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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