Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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