...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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