he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
