we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
