so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
