I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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